About me? Lets see, I write, record, but mostly I bullshit. Either if its in front of a camera, microphone, or keyboard I bullshit people into following the words. That after all is what a writer’s real job is, bullshit artist. I overuse commas as if to imply pauses like a normal conversation would have. Not because I don’t understand the proper usage of commas in a writing, I just don’t use that many damn adverbs or parenthetical words to justify the use of so many of the curvy little fuckers. The comma is the single most overused punctuation mark in my writing and my editor hates me for it. I’ve published two books about my life, my newest is no different. Centered around my most recent serious relationship and touching on many others A Game Of Thoughts And Feelings isn’t me whining about ex-girlfriends or telling you how to ruin your relationship. AGOTAF is simply a book of stories based on the truth. Take from it what you will, maybe I am that asshole or you might have just misunderstood me. You’ll cry, laugh, and cry again. Is that enough about me and what I do?


Once you find out things about people that totally change your opinion about them you can’t go back to how it was. It’s not always a bad thing but it can be very destructive to a relationship. I’ve always refused people can change. Maybe it’s because I haven’t seen myself change or maybe it’s because change is inevitable. Change and learning something that is changing your prospective of someone is always difficult to work though, to accept, to believe.

It’s a funny thing.

The internet is a funny thing when combined with real life feelings. Social networks in particular. Checking her twitter every fifteen minutes to see if she’s said anything. Seeing who ‘liked’ her latest pictures and reading what she say to the ex boyfriends as their pages aren’t private. Makes me feel like a stalker but as addicted as she is to the social network I can’t access I’m addicted to finding work arounds to see as much as they let get by. It never makes me feel better yet I have to do it, why is this? Trust issues? Hell yes.

I happen to think this is what that last scene of The Social Network portrayed. Mark sends a friend request to Erica and sits there, not being able to see her profile, and refreshes over and over again. This is the feeling that goes through my mind. The reason that the scene works in the movie is because it’s true and everybody experiences it. 

First Snowfall In Colorado

People in the winter here want it to be summer, and yes in the summer you hear everyone wishing for winter. Myself included.

The snow here has the affect of rain in Seattle, people’s moods change for the worse. Winter depression sets in, maybe more mood swings. I haven’t felt this myself but I have to deal with everyone around me being ready to snap on a pin drop. It feels as if us that do not care about the weather being hot or cold now has the task of walking on a tightrope connected to mines ready to blow up.

Situations are no longer defused with a simple ‘I’m sorry wave’, now cutting someone off means a shouting match and aggressive driving that puts people in danger. The cold here is like the winter in A Game Of Thrones, people who are on anti-depressants (over half the state eat them like candy), people who are bitter in the cold, and people who just don’t mind are all in a battle to win the winter war.

The RX crowd with their cheery fake holiday attitude, the bitter crowd with their fuck off everyone attitude, and my crowd, the just don’t care crowd left behind to defuse situations that we didn’t know we were getting ourselves into. A simple mistake of a take out order can set someone off into a rage that lasts for days leaving us calm folk to live with and defuse the situation.

The half of Coloradans that are taking triple the anti depressants than anyone should needs to slow down an drop the fake attitude and share the pills with the people who need them, the bitter aggressive people. Then everyone might be calm and Colorado in the winter will be a nice place to live.

For now though, stay clear of people, especially while driving or shopping. I’ve seen many fights over parking spots and bumping into others with shopping carts.

Another Lie I Posted On This Website

Something I published on this blog that I had changed from the true story to protect my relationship with my sponsors is my Google AdSense post. In which I told the story of waking up and finding my AdSense account being rapidly clicked and my account being disabled.

That was a nice story and all, but it wasn’t a competitor that took down my accounts, it was me. The timeline of waking up and seeing clicks wasn’t true, I just had woken up to the email from AdSense it however was true that it was the day before my birthday.

So here is the story in the way that I have repeated over ten times in the appeal process with Google. This was a copy and paste of my last submission. 

"I had a friend who I trusted and he had a successful twitter account so I paid him to post my URL and get me traffic. He was pocketing the money and using bots or some type of traffic exchange to bring my website traffic."

Thats what really happened, so why not tell the truth here? I would have lost my remaining sponsors. The second I posted that I bought traffic I would violate every service agreement signed and everything would be lost.

Now it’s about me and you and not about the money. 

The History Of This Blog

I’ve always wanted a cool popular blog. It must be my lack of grammar skills and constant need to spill out my real thoughts and not just pictures of my food and book reviews. Treating it as a thought diary is something that I’ve always had this blog to be.

I started blogging in middle school while hiding the page from the teacher in the computer lab. That blog was more of a time stamp blog ‘6:15- wake up  7:15- go to school’ on myspace.

It was that night when I registered my first domain name and owned a piece of the internet ‘russcatalano.com’ on my first laptop. My grandma paid by handing me her credit card and when I was confused about why I didn’t have a website but paid for a domain name I called GoDaddy and was instructed to buy a website starter kit. I got permission to purchase and made a blog for myself, I made this blog.

The blog was mostly for some of my way early photography and occasionally I let my thoughts out too. One day the domain expired and somebody picked it up fast and required I pay five hundred dollars to have it back. That really discouraged me from creating content online.

About a year later I found YouTube through my brother at my grandma’s house one night, we made my first YouTube video then too. I was really into magic then and it was a outlet for that. My first video was a fake levitation where the front of my sweatpants were cut and my shoe tied on. Lifting up my leg made it seem like both feet were off the ground.

The YouTube bug really bit me with that first video and I continued doing magic videos and trying to grow an audience. I stopped doing magic and made a new youtube account when I was in highschool. That account is ‘youtube.com/russcatalano’ I once again had a need for my personal domain.

A year or two had past since my domain was held hostage and they had let it expire too so I was able to get it for the original price and have money left over to pay for a website building service. It stayed untouched until I took it off of the crappy pre made GoDaddy website and put it on Tumblr where it is hosted even today.

It looked better and was free but the main reason I moved it to Tumblr was because I was at home ditching school watching Current TV when a show came on about becoming a professional blogger from scratch. One of the participants started a Tumblr blog and quickly started making a name for himself. I tried WordPress, GoDaddy, and Blogger ,but always kept going back to Tumblr. Ease of use and a format I really grew up blogging on.

I wen’t through blogging months where I would write my thoughts at various points in the day only to delete them the next month in fear that people will read them. I went through this really up until last year where I started blogging regularly and never really looked back to delete anything.

I stopped caring about what others thought or if they found out and I started caring about what made me happy, what got me out of my own head if only for the thirty minutes it took to write the post.

Thats my blogging history on this domain in the best way that I could remember it. Almost all of my registered domains have detailed histories like this. I could remember the point in my life and why I had created it. Maybe I will write about these from time to time. 

Spoiled, Feeding Ego, or Setting Goals?

I’ve been fascinated with what I couldn’t have ever since I was little. Everyone has this but it seems worse with me. Feeding my ego or just being spoiled I’ve always worked hard toward the latest and greatest. 

I guess it started with toys, I used to take the toy catalogues from the news paper and circle everything that I wanted. Seems normal enough, but I always tried to devise ‘plans’ to be able to get more toys. Trying to do work around the bookstore I spent my weekends in to earn more. 

Then the deep feeling of lust for an object sort of faded away until I got my first cell phone.

A old Nokia like the ones in the ‘indestructible’ memes. Well throwing it against the wall sure shattered mine into a million little pieces. 

Upgrading and upgrading every three to six months through ‘breaking’, ‘losing’, or the phone getting ‘stolen’ to the next model up. This was at a time where cell phones went from brick, to flip, SMS, camera, and web all in about three years and I wanted the newest and best.

This stopped when I got the Droid phone, after a year I dropped it for a iPhone 4 on my own plan, without an insurance upgrade option. Since then the upgrades have been out of necessity and not pleasure.

Since then about every year there is something I lust after with that determination and drive. Trying to get the object becomes my passion project, everything that I work for. 

A lot of people will just say that I am spoiled or have a buying disorder but I say it’s good. Without this I won’t work as hard to get to my goals. Lusting after something is a great motivator.

I’m not who I say I am, I’ll explain.

My name is not ‘Russ Catalano’, I don’t live in Denver, and what you think you know about me is wrong. 

Here is the truth.

I’ll start with the obvious, my name. Catalano is my mother’s maiden name, I have my father’s surname. I’ve been attempting to make ‘Russ Catalano’ my legal name for some time now but for now it remains a pen name. It is however a common law second name for me as I’ve used it all of my life and sign under both names. Although anyone attempting to find me I’m sure wouldn’t have to go far as it’s a ‘alias’ of mine on all the government’s paperwork from filing to change my name.

I don’t live in Denver as I’ve let everyone assume without correcting. It all stemmed from a few FourSquare location posts. I do live in southern Colorado though. Just a little down from Denver. 

I don’t share much information, mostly because no one asks, they just assume. So you probably have this set of facts about me that are half real and half assumed. Feel free to ask me anything I won’t mind.



An apology and confession.

It’s been a long time since we’ve talked. Lately this has been in a different direction than what I started it for. I started it as a extension to my twitter, which at the time was my thoughts.

I don’t have time to tweet my thoughts anymore though. Writing books, making videos, working my ass off to get ahead of the mass of zombie cookie cutter 99% of this job, for what? So I can have more time to do just this? What is this?

Me and you.

Our conversations have always been mostly one sided, the hypothetical ball in my court. The daily posting taught me a lot about myself but anymore I just don’t have anything to talk about. Sponsors have had control of what I can and can’t say, I had killed all of the income in what has became a year long battle.

All of this kept me from coming back to you, the reader. I made this into something that was profitable and left because the profit was held hostage by Google. This was never men’t for profit, but for me, something like a ‘thought diary’ where I can ramble about anything on my mind to escape from my mind if only while I’m writing.

Something where I didn’t have to worry about who I told to go fuck off or what brand I said was better than another. The corporate leach took a bite into this blog with my first secret sponsor partnership. From then on every word wrote had to be looked over and approved before I could press the green ‘Create Post’ button to publish.

Not anymore, now it’s just my blog. I can say what I want when I want. Freedom. If I wanted to post a hate blog about a song at three in the morning I will no longer have to send it off to ———- and get it declined because the artist is signed to their online sales record label.  

Expect more from this blog, and the reason about fifteen posts are missing is because they included words that I didn’t write when I submitted them to ———- for approval.

Everything that remains and that is to come is only my opinion, never changed for a sponsor, nor written to favor someone over another for a monetary reason.  

Will you take me back?